i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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