I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize