I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
