how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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