I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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