Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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