What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
