Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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