Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
