ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
