Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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