would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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