I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I know her cup size but not her name....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
