It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
