At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
