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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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