just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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