do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
