I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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