wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
