Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
