i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
