marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my fart just growled at me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
