So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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