There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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