Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
