After last night, I could never be a politician.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
