White coat. Heels.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
