I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
