it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
