i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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