What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
