If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
