Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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