Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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