Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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