i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
