I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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