dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
