Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
