You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize