Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
