so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
