Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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