Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
