hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
