Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
