i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
