i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
