He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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