Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
