saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
