Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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