i just wanna soil my oats bro
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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