Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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