i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
