return my video game
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
