god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
