um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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