Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My vagina is officially offended.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
