awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
